Cornered at a family gathering by a nine-year-old that asks him who he is, movie critic Andrew Collins found himself with no definite answer. In this memoir he sets out to retrace how he got to where he is today. Seventeen precarious jobs in seventeen years: from trolley collector at Sainsbury's to high-flying film critic sipping cocktails with Will Smith and Jerry Bruckheimer on a yacht in Cannes. This is Andrew's tale of rubbing shoulders with the world's biggest stars: pissing off Christina Ricci, having his hairstyle mocked by Noel Gallagher, trying not to wake Clive James from his afternoon nap, having his apple pie eaten by Bob Geldof, and somehow stumbling into the next dream job. Along the way, he's been the world's worst gossip columnist, a television presenter, a scriptwriter, and a ghost writer. The book charts a world of hedonism, the mundane, towering egos, shallow idiocy, and occasional moments of mind-blowing joy.